Me

There are some things in life that I give up before I even try. I feel they are not meant to be and I would predict that they won't ever be. And I'm good at setting myself aside for those "rational" predictions/thoughts of mine. Then, years later, looking back, I feel sad, sad for the things that cannot be or that I didn't allow to be or that I didn't even try to make them be. And I become sad and lost in thoughts and regrets, with many should've beens and could've beens. And at some points, I get stuck and stop myself from going forward.

Imagine, sometimes I know I have to greet and talk to a person/familiar face/friend, but letting the wishing-I-was-invisible part of me take over, I don't. Even this becomes a years of regret.

And today, for no reason, out of the blue, I feel sad, although during the past year I don't get sad often.

Am I just a sad person or what?